Caffeine Addiction

Anything in life is addictive. I for one was barely ever addicted to any thing related to food. If my mom misses her daily dose of a sip of tea in a day - you know she will have a bad one all through. Addiction for me has only been something external, atleast nothing so close to edibility as such...I am addicted to movies, I am addicted to my converse, to the Internet, addicted to Macbook Pro, addicted to Will and Grace, Seinfield...and so forth. My list can never be complete. But slowly I am realizing something very essential. I am getting addicted to caffeine. Well how did I find out- I remember those regular boring days at the office, my heavy head almost feeling like, it would stop working any second. Thats when a glass of coke worked like magic for me and miraculously the nauseating feel or the headache easily went away. Now... that! my friend is a sign, I am getting addicted. That ONE THING I was trying sooo hard to stay away from. I work at a place where there's a free flow of caffeine from, pops to coffee, hence can't help it!..
So I hope to reverse my unhealthy habit as soon as I go back home. But don't know when that would be. I am also realizing that the old me is gradually spreading its root. The lazy me, I better get out of that vicious cycle. Being a couch potato all day, is sure not helping.

So, it finally rained today, the very first rain of the summer. After a long time I felt so complete physiologically. After a constant flow of snow, then a bit of sunshine, all we were missing; a few droplets of water. ANd finally it happened today..yeh!!..can't wait to take some pictures now. Well, holi has offiicially arrived for me, after long and gruesome months of winter. A few drops of rain was bound to make me happy. I also feel like I am getting home sick everyday. No wonder I have been listening to a lot of Hindi movie songs to get over it. I am not such a big fan of hindi movie songs- but I know this is the closest I can get to - for anything local..besides some Indian food may be..but since solid food has never been my addictive element. Music does seem to replace my illuionistic addiction pretty well I think..at least on the matters of home sickness.

Wave of change

I am just 24, and I feel like I have been lucky enough to be witnessing such an eventful year. 2008 American election, the historical Contituent Assembly in my home country, Tibet's march for cultural freedom and so much more. 2008 has heralded an exciting, unpredictable but still a very hopeful beginning. So if I really had to start, I would do it with an American Politics. Just till mid-2007, American politics was a complete stranger to me. If it wasn't for the heated forum discussion I wouldn't have had ever paid attention to what was happening here in the US. Certainly a great time for America to change the course of its history. What a time to be in. The time where a lady has been fighting for the presidentship against her male counterparts. The time when the black man is for the first time running for the same position. At a time when America is changing, its economy taking a downhill with a fear of recession. Its immigration problem. Never had america needed someone to help save them from the slow-death. and thats when comes in Barrack Obama. Singing the songs of hope and change and yes that Americans can. The fact that he belongs to a very diverse family consisting of everyone from each continent. It has certainly helped him to make a connection with people across America regardless of their race or age.
And amidst all this- I am witnessing the results of contituent Assembly that took place on April 10, 2008 back home. The poll date had been postponed twice and this was the third attempt to make it possible. Amidst the doubts among the regular crowd and political pundits. It happened. Infact with less violence than expected. and was considered a success. I feel pitty that I couldn't be a part of this event but, still hoping for a great change ahead as I go back to my country for good. Another surprise that hit the nation was the Moaist's overwhelming success. Well I for one wasn't. But the news of their win even in the capital city was certainly a stunner. I'm up for anything that could possibly lead our country to a path of development. So I wish a prosperous years ahead for me, for my country and for everyone around.

P.S : I feel blessed to be a part of this great wave of change taking place all over the world. Where we are being more than just a politician, where we are giving up the arms to peacefully collaborate with the government to solve the problem. Where we are joining hands for a free Tibet. And not just expecting but working on things to work out!

Written date: April 14, 2008

The election time

On Thursday April 10, 2008 took place the historic highly-awaited CA polls. And I wasn't any less excited despite the fact that I was miles away from home. As usual the work load was just unimaginable. So thats what took the most of my attention until one of my cousins called in early in the Morning (what the hell was he thinking!!!- early in the morning)..saying- he couldn't vote cause his name wasn't in the 'list'. Hah!!..I was like..didnt' you register??..nand just didn't feel like talking...come on..as a citizen you did have the right to vote and how come he didn't. Must be cause he didn't push their limits. As long as you have the citizenship, isn't that enough to be able to cast your vote. Which is a far better situation than 1000s of people casting votes under someone elses name. And I heard that happened. Which is nothing new in Nepal apparently.

I just don't get it, these politicans acting like animals..how ridiculous is that. The whole point was to go for proportional representation based on people's choice. and there they were using violence or wicked behaviour as the way to maneuver their destiny. Anyway..so its Friday here in the US. I am at work, and all my attention is gravitated toward the election. I am just not feeling liek working, I have bene continously checking news, sites everything that could come in handy to educate me about the post-election.

March 19, 2008

I had written this on March 19, 2008 but apaprently forgot to publish...how stupid, so even if today is April 3, 2008. Well this one's for March 19!

Miraculously, after months of constant grilling, the work load has massively gone down. Although this doesn't mean, I won't be bombarded with any anytime soon. SO I decided to surf around. and do all the crappy stuffs until I get something to do.So Today, March 19, 2008. This is the first thing I spotted on BBC and CNN.The headline read 'Bush: U.S. is safer because of Iraq war' the speech of Bush on the 5th anniversary of the Iraq war. To sum it all in a phrase, he said- The war was a success. Oh BTW, just incase if I missed this, Russia has already elected their new president Dimitri. Who's in fact a follower of Putin. So doubt it if his governance would be any different from Putin's.

Things to do
Work out for 30 mins. EVERYDAY.
Cook Food if necessary.
Read the book.

The War Room

My horoscope today said, its gonna be all smiles. Well admitted that you can't always trust the planets to predict your future. However for some bizzare reason. It seemed to come true. First, the work load wasn't so massive, it was quite fair and managable (But I better not mention this- or else I might just get flooded from this time forward - its a curse).
The best part- as I was just about to head to a loo, getting ready for the War Room. My colleague said- As he won't be around upstairs, we could do it just sitting at the cube.
Okay The war room. This is one lengthy cleansing process nothing too spiritual but when it comes to our site clean-up process its nothing less than one either. Well , its not such a bad project but leaving everything behind and for two straight hours of grilling is at times not fair especially during those days, where you barely even get to breath. Still having said that there are some factors that I look forward to this projectand they are as follows:

• Walking up to the third floor (from the ground floor). I take this as a part of my work out process. By the time I reach the destination, I almost go out of breath. Come on...lady Our old house in kathmandu was seven-storey tall...compared to that, it should have had been a piece of cake.
• I look forward to contributing to this project that inturn would benefit all the Dynamics partners all over the world..ha-ha...yeah right like there are billions of them scattered around.
  

Anyway, damn,,theres so much to do...shall continue next time..if I feel like it.

The night won't see its daylight

After a very long time I am feeling some kind of calmness that I needed so badly in my life. I wanted to be very very much grounded. Feel the Earth and not really fly to touch the sky anymore.I just wanted to be the simplest one. I just wanted to get to the basics. With no big dreams to fullfill- no fancy life to live, even if it meant trying to do good all the time. I just wanted to be in touch with the raw real me. Like never before.
This week has been the most toughest one for me emotionally. The workload at the office was lowest. I was finally breathing a sigh of relief. Unaware of the harshness this week had instored for me.I won't be going into the details but I learnt my lesson. I knew this had to happen one day. Although I was really saddened by this event I am glad it happened.
Nomatter how well you do in your life, its really important to feel little insignificant at times.Its important as a human being cause you are not God to make everything right every other second. You might be the most powerful one on earth. But do you really hold the strenght to make things perfect all the time?. Well I don't, and I realized that this week. Nomatter how high my hopes are I know I do not have what it takes to cure all the illness of the world. And I so desperately seeked to get accquainted with this fact.
At work I listen to top-40 hits all the time, not that I am a big fan of it, its just cause,its right there and its hip, catchy, which instantly refreshes your mind. But ofcourse never becomes your most favourite kind of all time. Its just for the instantliberation.
I think thats when I felt like listening to Nepali songs, some old classics. But to my bad,even Murchunga.com wasn't working. Then I switched to some Hindi movies. and I was hell tired of all the crapy commercial hindi movie songs.
But today- on Friday...It just miraculously came to me 'Is raat ki Subaha nahi'- I wanted to listen to the songs of this movie for a long long time. However, I never really managed to remember the name of the movie. and today it just happened. It was as if god just bestowed it on me. Like he just fed the words in my mouth. ANd I must say, thats all I really needed to console myself.
I must have had been a kid when this movie was released. Have never watched it but one song just grabbed my attention since the beginning like anything. And now reaching the 24th year of my life, I am listening to the song- and plus two more of the same movie. Realized its Sudhir Mishra's film. WHo would have thought I would grow up to be his big fan. I really respect the kind of movies he make, I like that genre.
Anyway, I think thats all I have to say today. An introspective journey is all I need right now. To reflect back,calm down, and just be me all through - the same oldpainstakingly shy, excessively-introvert, the quiet me ...ha-ha..

By Sam Cooke

I was born by the river in a little tent
Oh and just like the river I've been running ever since
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will
It's been too hard living but I'm afraid to die
Cause I don't know what's up there beyond the sky
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will

I go to the movie and I go downtown
somebody keep telling me don't hang around
It's been a long, a long time coming

But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will

Then I go to my brother
And I say brother help me please
But he winds up knocking me
Back down on my knees
Ohhhhhhhhh.....

There been times that I thought I couldn't last for long
But now I think I'm able to carry on
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come,
oh yes it will