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Friday, December 11, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
On a lighter note..
Oct 9, 2007 (Newsweek)
Women in Leadership: Arianna Huffington
More and more I'm trying to find out what is it that allows us to recharge. That can allow us to find a center in our life. Even while we are having easy relationship with power and making that relationship more and more easy. FOr me it is to start with personal then move to the professional and finally move to the political. Political I don't mean, parties and politics but political interms of our contribution to change in the world however small or big.
Starting wth personal I have found the most draining thing in my life; is not what I do but what my mind does with what I do. As the French writer Montague said, there were many terrible things in my life but most of them never happened. It's the way we agonize about things before they happen or after they happen. When bad things are happening in our life we can deal with them much better than when we are thinking about them or try to preamp them. The thing that I've had to deal all my life is what I call the abnoxious roommate living in my head. The person that is constantly judging me. I dont know if you have one of those but I bet you do. And the guys in the room - you have one too but you are so much better in shutting those abnoxious roommates up than we are.
You can just go and watch the football game and tell the abnoxious roommate to get lost. We have a much harder time doing that because we so need to be approved by everybody including the abnoxious roommate. So from the moment we get up and look in the mirror we start..ahhm..another wrinkle ..interesting.. then we go and put on a pair of jeans ahh..what happened..did you throw these in the dryer!
I don't know about yours but my abnoxious roomate is incredibly snarky.
So dealing with my abnoxious roomate has been a life long journey. I have to tell you that I am achieving some success. Now much more dominant for me is another problem which is the issue of guilt. Those of you who are mothers I am sure can identify with that. Because I really believe that they take the baby out and they put the guilt in.
Women in Leadership: Arianna Huffington
More and more I'm trying to find out what is it that allows us to recharge. That can allow us to find a center in our life. Even while we are having easy relationship with power and making that relationship more and more easy. FOr me it is to start with personal then move to the professional and finally move to the political. Political I don't mean, parties and politics but political interms of our contribution to change in the world however small or big.
Starting wth personal I have found the most draining thing in my life; is not what I do but what my mind does with what I do. As the French writer Montague said, there were many terrible things in my life but most of them never happened. It's the way we agonize about things before they happen or after they happen. When bad things are happening in our life we can deal with them much better than when we are thinking about them or try to preamp them. The thing that I've had to deal all my life is what I call the abnoxious roommate living in my head. The person that is constantly judging me. I dont know if you have one of those but I bet you do. And the guys in the room - you have one too but you are so much better in shutting those abnoxious roommates up than we are.
You can just go and watch the football game and tell the abnoxious roommate to get lost. We have a much harder time doing that because we so need to be approved by everybody including the abnoxious roommate. So from the moment we get up and look in the mirror we start..ahhm..another wrinkle ..interesting.. then we go and put on a pair of jeans ahh..what happened..did you throw these in the dryer!
I don't know about yours but my abnoxious roomate is incredibly snarky.
So dealing with my abnoxious roomate has been a life long journey. I have to tell you that I am achieving some success. Now much more dominant for me is another problem which is the issue of guilt. Those of you who are mothers I am sure can identify with that. Because I really believe that they take the baby out and they put the guilt in.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Home sweet home..
Work gets really busy at times. Barely get a time to breath. At times, you seriously don't have much to do. When your schedule is filled with non-urgent tasks. It's fun. I set my mind to learn about the world, rather rarely about my own home. Politics is fun - hearing all sides of the story and weighing your own opinion. Not a big fan of understanding politics, but it makes me feel good, when I read about certain bills, rights they pass in the house. People demostrating against the supreme leaders in the Iranian streets. Or even better when you can sell old cars for quite a buck, just so govt can stimulate the auto market. Don't they all make you feel good, that things are at least moving 'forward' in some places.
Fine I admit, it's a recession here..it's getting more and more difficult to gain consumer confidence. Till a month ago people were getting laid off, left, right and center. Listening to the tale of my own friends losing job wasn't such a delightful moment either. But that doesn't mean the US goverment was just sitting on their asses and doing nothing. They were and still are looking for ways to alleviate this grim situation. And it feels good that those people responsible are trying. The success may not be anywhere close, but the fight is on!
At times, the things that trigger happiness become the very reason of sadness. When you witness the functioning government in other parts of the world but your own. It makes you anything but happy. I know I have written about this a hundred times. The inability of the party members to even form a government, the unregulated policies, crime in the cities, unmanaged wastes, discouraged people. You name it, I've gone crazy writing about it all. At least if that helps me cool down. Then I give up, cause it's easy, I'm not living so close to home so it's easy - I ignore everything and just get on with my life. And after months realize, may be I should flip those pages again, the latest news, the happenings- and it doesn't surprises me; even months after intentionally staying away from the latest feeds. There's absolutely nothing new happening.
It's always the same cycle. They form a coalition goverment. because of the divide within a party or within the party-govt members, the so called government breaks down. Then comes a new guy follows the same route. A brand new set of conflicts arise.The ruling govt collapses...repeat of the same story.
Then I either write about the same thing numerous times, pour my grieviences then get back to the regular life, then ignore the news for certain period. Recheck- feel bad- get angry- ignore, check- dissapointed-get mad- ignore,and yep it has become a vicious cycle. And that reminds me, I myself is not as any good as those people who say are running the country. I have been doing this for years. and I wonder, I ponder, feel helpless, I do what I could, try to forget things for few weeks.Then again the same old routine kicks in. And it drives me nuts!
So as a citizen of a poor country- is there really nothing in the world that I could do to halt this cycle? Is being a citizen only limited to fulfilling your responsibilities and going about your regular routine. ANd nothing else? The fact that everything, every small thing in our nation needs to be rebuilt, the fact that we have to rebegin the whole process, the fact that we want a whole new set of people governing the nation. Doesn't that make us a little more responsible towards our country than average?
Because its a poverty-striken nation, because there are corrupted people in the government, because our country is on a development-halt, because we love our country, because there is no place like home, because there's nowhere in the world I would rather be, because I can't think of contributing to any other country but mine first, because there are gazillions oppurtunities in Nepal, because it's our responsibility to build the nation. Don't we have the audacity to bear a little more than the average weight on our shoulder? Is't it upto us to challenge the unfucntional government, isn't it upto you and me. I have my millions questions- and its sad cause I know-I am not getting answers any time soon.
Fine I admit, it's a recession here..it's getting more and more difficult to gain consumer confidence. Till a month ago people were getting laid off, left, right and center. Listening to the tale of my own friends losing job wasn't such a delightful moment either. But that doesn't mean the US goverment was just sitting on their asses and doing nothing. They were and still are looking for ways to alleviate this grim situation. And it feels good that those people responsible are trying. The success may not be anywhere close, but the fight is on!
At times, the things that trigger happiness become the very reason of sadness. When you witness the functioning government in other parts of the world but your own. It makes you anything but happy. I know I have written about this a hundred times. The inability of the party members to even form a government, the unregulated policies, crime in the cities, unmanaged wastes, discouraged people. You name it, I've gone crazy writing about it all. At least if that helps me cool down. Then I give up, cause it's easy, I'm not living so close to home so it's easy - I ignore everything and just get on with my life. And after months realize, may be I should flip those pages again, the latest news, the happenings- and it doesn't surprises me; even months after intentionally staying away from the latest feeds. There's absolutely nothing new happening.
It's always the same cycle. They form a coalition goverment. because of the divide within a party or within the party-govt members, the so called government breaks down. Then comes a new guy follows the same route. A brand new set of conflicts arise.The ruling govt collapses...repeat of the same story.
Then I either write about the same thing numerous times, pour my grieviences then get back to the regular life, then ignore the news for certain period. Recheck- feel bad- get angry- ignore, check- dissapointed-get mad- ignore,and yep it has become a vicious cycle. And that reminds me, I myself is not as any good as those people who say are running the country. I have been doing this for years. and I wonder, I ponder, feel helpless, I do what I could, try to forget things for few weeks.Then again the same old routine kicks in. And it drives me nuts!
So as a citizen of a poor country- is there really nothing in the world that I could do to halt this cycle? Is being a citizen only limited to fulfilling your responsibilities and going about your regular routine. ANd nothing else? The fact that everything, every small thing in our nation needs to be rebuilt, the fact that we have to rebegin the whole process, the fact that we want a whole new set of people governing the nation. Doesn't that make us a little more responsible towards our country than average?
Because its a poverty-striken nation, because there are corrupted people in the government, because our country is on a development-halt, because we love our country, because there is no place like home, because there's nowhere in the world I would rather be, because I can't think of contributing to any other country but mine first, because there are gazillions oppurtunities in Nepal, because it's our responsibility to build the nation. Don't we have the audacity to bear a little more than the average weight on our shoulder? Is't it upto us to challenge the unfucntional government, isn't it upto you and me. I have my millions questions- and its sad cause I know-I am not getting answers any time soon.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Past, Present and Future
It surprises me how ignorant I've been of my own distinct internal transformation. And how I have pretty much adapted to the place I am at the moment living in. I realize, my views toward things have changed. I am realizing the way I am today is not the way I was yesterday or long ago. I don't know if this is simply a natural phenomenon or my own forceful effort to see things differently- just to survive.
Frankly speaking- I rarely miss home nowadays.But I do constantly worry about the everyday Nepali routine. I talk to my parents frequently and so with my brother. The conversation is usually limited to hi and how-are-you. SO after a long gap I wrote to one of my cousins. He instantly replied- wishing that I would be home this Dashain. That's when I felt a jolt of some sort. I had been gone in fact for a very long time. I don't know if I can even remember how my cousins look like anymore. The kid who was about five when I left for America..I doubt it if he would at all remember when I see him next time. I don't crave to be home, but I do wonder everyday- how tall he's grown.or I wish somebody emailed me his pictures. Or the recent wedding ceremony pictures of another cousin of mine. This time when I go home, there will be one less member in our family. I am very well aware of the happenings. But I have grown a habit of ignoring them, because it's easier to create a vaccum in my mind than to live with home-sickness.
At times I wonder, if they feel that I don't care about them anymore. The fact that a couple my cousins don't even write back- pretty much explains the story. Or may be they are just busy. Honestly, I don't think anybody knows- that how badly I want to go back home. Or is it the situation in Nepal that's stopping me. You know- I wouldn't be lieing if my answer was affirmative. Every month or so I go through a cycle- where I don't read any publications associated with Nepal..and after a few weeks I catch up on the old news. Then the vicious cycle officially kicks off-I'm saddened.I question, I look for answers. Unfortunately, also pretty easily give up.
Today, I read a very positive article in Nepali times. It captured the real life events of the journey. All the sad and way too often ciculated stories of sufferings. However, the write-up ended saying '..There was a scented freshness in the air, and the hope of a new beginning.' I could feel my heart sinking with the beginning of every new sentence. Until I reached the end- which instantly resurrected a sense of hope!
And I silently told myself- that's all I need to keep me alive. To reassure my return to the place I call home. I have my moments of doubt, moments of sickness, moments of helplessness..at the same time moments of hope. And I know thats exactly the reason folks back home are going about living their everyday life as well -despite setbacks, despite foreign influences, despite corrupted politicians. Despite old habits and despite so many things that's reluctant to change.
And as for me- I believe in today, a positive today, more beautiful today which shall eventually pave the way for all the more better tomorrow!
Frankly speaking- I rarely miss home nowadays.But I do constantly worry about the everyday Nepali routine. I talk to my parents frequently and so with my brother. The conversation is usually limited to hi and how-are-you. SO after a long gap I wrote to one of my cousins. He instantly replied- wishing that I would be home this Dashain. That's when I felt a jolt of some sort. I had been gone in fact for a very long time. I don't know if I can even remember how my cousins look like anymore. The kid who was about five when I left for America..I doubt it if he would at all remember when I see him next time. I don't crave to be home, but I do wonder everyday- how tall he's grown.or I wish somebody emailed me his pictures. Or the recent wedding ceremony pictures of another cousin of mine. This time when I go home, there will be one less member in our family. I am very well aware of the happenings. But I have grown a habit of ignoring them, because it's easier to create a vaccum in my mind than to live with home-sickness.
At times I wonder, if they feel that I don't care about them anymore. The fact that a couple my cousins don't even write back- pretty much explains the story. Or may be they are just busy. Honestly, I don't think anybody knows- that how badly I want to go back home. Or is it the situation in Nepal that's stopping me. You know- I wouldn't be lieing if my answer was affirmative. Every month or so I go through a cycle- where I don't read any publications associated with Nepal..and after a few weeks I catch up on the old news. Then the vicious cycle officially kicks off-I'm saddened.I question, I look for answers. Unfortunately, also pretty easily give up.
Today, I read a very positive article in Nepali times. It captured the real life events of the journey. All the sad and way too often ciculated stories of sufferings. However, the write-up ended saying '..There was a scented freshness in the air, and the hope of a new beginning.' I could feel my heart sinking with the beginning of every new sentence. Until I reached the end- which instantly resurrected a sense of hope!
And I silently told myself- that's all I need to keep me alive. To reassure my return to the place I call home. I have my moments of doubt, moments of sickness, moments of helplessness..at the same time moments of hope. And I know thats exactly the reason folks back home are going about living their everyday life as well -despite setbacks, despite foreign influences, despite corrupted politicians. Despite old habits and despite so many things that's reluctant to change.
And as for me- I believe in today, a positive today, more beautiful today which shall eventually pave the way for all the more better tomorrow!
Friday, December 5, 2008
Being a woman
By Maya Angelou
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear
if the employer, or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a youth she's content to leave behind....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past
juicy enough that she's looking forward
to retelling it in her old age....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and...
a black lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
one friend who always makes her laugh..
and one who lets her cry....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a good piece of furniture
not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a feeling of control
over her destiny..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love
without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend,
without ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder...
and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...
but it's over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do...
for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.....
how to live alone...
even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods....
when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month... and a year...
And I am all that except that I haven't yet owned eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and haven't yet mastered a recipe for a meal.The rest is all me.
Yes I rent my own place and have been living alone for quite sometime. And I absolutely LOOve it!
I do own a perfect something to wear for the date of my dream may be..although I'm not exactly aspiring for one.
I sure have a juicy past worthy enough to share it with my friends or my grandchildren for that matter!
and I am all about screwdrivers. Its a must haves in anyone's list - comes in handy!
Yes, I have friends who makes me laugh like crazy and also a few who makes me cry.
And so far whatever I've bought on my own has always only been mine. From furnitures to the latest gadgets.
I'm all about technology baby!
Yes, I know I control my own destiny! and I hope I always keep falling in love, still retaining the truest me. I love the feeling.
Yes, I plan to quit a job, have broken up with a lover, and have confronted my best friend without ruining the friendship.
There have been times- I have tried harder and times I have walked away. Walking away is tougher than the former. But once you do it, there's nothing in the world that can come close to the happiness it gives you. Set yourself free dahling!
Oh yes, I admit it there are certain things that's simply not within my control for example the nature of my parents! lol
hmm..what I would do for love and what I wouldnt' do for love.
Looks like I need to sort that out.
Yes, trusting someone is a very sensitive matter. and I wouldn't trust just anyone so easily.
Yes, I do have a place to go when I feel down and low
And EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..What she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month... and a year...
something else to keep in mind!
mann...I'm one hell of a phenomenal Woman!!!
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear
if the employer, or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a youth she's content to leave behind....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past
juicy enough that she's looking forward
to retelling it in her old age....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and...
a black lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
one friend who always makes her laugh..
and one who lets her cry....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a good piece of furniture
not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a feeling of control
over her destiny..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love
without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend,
without ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder...
and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...
but it's over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do...
for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.....
how to live alone...
even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods....
when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month... and a year...
And I am all that except that I haven't yet owned eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and haven't yet mastered a recipe for a meal.The rest is all me.
Yes I rent my own place and have been living alone for quite sometime. And I absolutely LOOve it!
I do own a perfect something to wear for the date of my dream may be..although I'm not exactly aspiring for one.
I sure have a juicy past worthy enough to share it with my friends or my grandchildren for that matter!
and I am all about screwdrivers. Its a must haves in anyone's list - comes in handy!
Yes, I have friends who makes me laugh like crazy and also a few who makes me cry.
And so far whatever I've bought on my own has always only been mine. From furnitures to the latest gadgets.
I'm all about technology baby!
Yes, I know I control my own destiny! and I hope I always keep falling in love, still retaining the truest me. I love the feeling.
Yes, I plan to quit a job, have broken up with a lover, and have confronted my best friend without ruining the friendship.
There have been times- I have tried harder and times I have walked away. Walking away is tougher than the former. But once you do it, there's nothing in the world that can come close to the happiness it gives you. Set yourself free dahling!
Oh yes, I admit it there are certain things that's simply not within my control for example the nature of my parents! lol
hmm..what I would do for love and what I wouldnt' do for love.
Looks like I need to sort that out.
Yes, trusting someone is a very sensitive matter. and I wouldn't trust just anyone so easily.
Yes, I do have a place to go when I feel down and low
And EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..What she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month... and a year...
something else to keep in mind!
mann...I'm one hell of a phenomenal Woman!!!
Monday, November 24, 2008
How can Horoscopes be so accurate!
Like I haven't had enough of embarrassments in my life already! I am posting this to reaffirm my stupidity. Thought why not enjoy my state of imprudence while it lasts. At times there's simply no fun in being sane or wise. Therefore, to truly enjoy life you just have to let your innocence rule your world and yes embarrass yourself over and over again!. So that years from now I could have a laugh at this whole thing and puzzle myself all over again! and keep wondering why!!??$^$^
Nov 24, 2008
Today, much to your surprise, you will feel a very strong magnetic pull towards a person you've never met before. There is a reason that they interest you, and you've got to figure it out! So keep your eye on them, and while you can't exactly follow them around, just keep looking until you figure it out. There is something about them that you need in your life. They could be your inspiration, and you never even have to have a conversation with them.
Nov 24, 2008
Today, much to your surprise, you will feel a very strong magnetic pull towards a person you've never met before. There is a reason that they interest you, and you've got to figure it out! So keep your eye on them, and while you can't exactly follow them around, just keep looking until you figure it out. There is something about them that you need in your life. They could be your inspiration, and you never even have to have a conversation with them.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Height of Insanity
Each CA member receives approximately RS 40,000 as monthly stipend.(According to a source altogether it comes to around Rs 60,000 per month when you add the miscellaneous figures. It's been more than six months, there hasn't been even an inch of development interms of the constitution-writing process. Not surprisingly, CA members themselves don't hesitate to accept the failure.
The Terai problem is aggravating. It's turning into a crisis while Kathmandu very conveniently manages to turn a deaf ear towards the Madhesis. The Maoist are on the verge of ideological separation. The interim government exists only for the heck of running the state hence anarchy still defines the law of our land. And amidst all this, trapped are the common people.
Hope lost. Dreams sabotaged. Inspiration never existed!
India 'gifted' a fleet of buses to ease the transportation need for the CA members. and now they have refused to use the service because the bus contains the imprint 'Gifted from the Government of India' painted on its surface. The members believe - using such provisions would mean giving a way to the Indians intervention in the national matters. However, according to the Nepali Times article (Issue 21 NOV 2008 - 27 NOV 2008) they are ready to compromise if the officials erase the prominently displayed Indian flag from the bus. Another point to be noticed:
'employees at the secretariat claim that the inability of the government to provide facilities led them to ask India for help.'
As if Rs 40,000 a month (per member) was not enough that they were forced to take this step.
I am convinced. Nepal will never change. Unless the Nepalese give it a shot. And clearly those who are on the frontline- don't give a shit! Hence, why would anybody in the world care. Do I?- No. Do you? I don't think so.
The Terai problem is aggravating. It's turning into a crisis while Kathmandu very conveniently manages to turn a deaf ear towards the Madhesis. The Maoist are on the verge of ideological separation. The interim government exists only for the heck of running the state hence anarchy still defines the law of our land. And amidst all this, trapped are the common people.
Hope lost. Dreams sabotaged. Inspiration never existed!
India 'gifted' a fleet of buses to ease the transportation need for the CA members. and now they have refused to use the service because the bus contains the imprint 'Gifted from the Government of India' painted on its surface. The members believe - using such provisions would mean giving a way to the Indians intervention in the national matters. However, according to the Nepali Times article (Issue 21 NOV 2008 - 27 NOV 2008) they are ready to compromise if the officials erase the prominently displayed Indian flag from the bus. Another point to be noticed:
'employees at the secretariat claim that the inability of the government to provide facilities led them to ask India for help.'
As if Rs 40,000 a month (per member) was not enough that they were forced to take this step.
I am convinced. Nepal will never change. Unless the Nepalese give it a shot. And clearly those who are on the frontline- don't give a shit! Hence, why would anybody in the world care. Do I?- No. Do you? I don't think so.
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