It's a change - I seek

There used to be a time, where going out late at night was relativey safe back home. Regardless of which part of Nepal you were in, you at least didn't have to worry about getting killed in a communal violence. And today here I am, far away from home. Hear a depressing news, the degrading condition at the terai region of Nepal, the parties taking forever to build the government. The anarchy running wild, people still being killed in the name of religion, in the name power,in the name of every little pathetic excuse that they could come up with. In fact its just a piece of news that I manage to feed myself every day. Sad part is, it has taken a shape of my own life. Its a story that I seem to be piecing together, to turn it into a history. And I feel so ashamed of myself. very helpless rather. Listening to Rage against the machine. I know how to bang my head while I am working. The last hting I am worried about is, what would I haev today for dinner. In any given day if I ever go hungry - its not because I couldn't afford to have a simple meal of a day. Either its because I was too lazy to cook or because I didn't wish to drive and eventually go out to eat. The veggies rot in my referegerator, cause I seriously am lazy when it comes to cooking. I order food from outside, throw away the halfof it. The reason is simple, I wasn't too hungry or I can afford to waste food. If my laptop breaks down at the office. I have the right to complain, the next day, I'll have the brand new machine waiting for me in my cube. Here nobody cares what I am wearing,or thinking or dating. although the fuel price is soaring, I've never bothered about to check how much it cost per gallon- American economy is taking a downhill but thats the least of my concern. Though I have been closely paying attention to the present world economy. I am just another regular young 24-year-old from Kathmandu, Nepal. and here I am living completely on my own. Living my dreams, with full rights to whatever I want in my life. But someone of my own age back home, is probably living life contrary to mine.

Is it seriously that hard for the politiicans to find out how critical the situation is. Is it seriously something they can't figure out when its unfolding right in front of them. Do they seriously have to wait for the order of the Indian govt. every freaking time to make a decision? I am outraged, I am dissapointed, I want to make a difference. But I don't know how...and I wonder is that the country that I want to eventually go back to. Quite strange enough- the answer has always been yes- but with no political stability I do wonder if I will be just another statistic who would get lost in the social quagmire as soon as I return home. I see an immense prospect but I barely see the potential transforming into anything Kinetic (such a crappy phrase). But regardless of what happens - I know I am going back! and every day my conviction takes a sronger shape. and I hope that its the same with everyone else of my age at least...spread across the world. If we don't bring the change I don't know who would in our own territory.