Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.

For some reason I don't know how to begin this. After that intense argument in the facebook (which apparently wasn't even an argument..it was just one big misunderstanding but both of us were on the same page). Plus the unnecessary nationwide anti-VP ptotest. I thought I had to write it down.

In this world I may not know what I eventually want to do in life. But there's one thing I am very much sure of. Living in Nepal and commenting -is poles apart from living in the US and voicing your opinion. I really have no grudges against those (from Kathmandu specifically) who tell me to mind my own business. I still remember that day somewhere close to DC. I was visiting my mama and maiju at Richmond. We went to this Nepali gathering,..the place was mostly full of Newars. And was quite a mix of the rest of the tribes (if I may say so). I think it was the celebration of the new year 2008. That was my very first official gathering with the NRNs (I am assuming more than 50% of them were Greencard holders if not official NRNs). So people were talking, youngsters..flirting..children playing, elders discussing politics...may be. Seeing all that, from more of a bird's eye view. I knew Exactly what I DIDn't want to be in life. I knew I didn't want to be the person holding a wineglass, standing in style, trying hard to be 'proper' and speaking about Nepali politics...above all pouring greviences about the poor condition of Nepal. I knew in my heart, I would never in my life ever want to end up like them. Oh yes they had money...they were doctors, engineers, they were everything that possibly defined or entailed the term 'rich' in Nepal. And for some reason - I was a little disgusted. and now I know why. Living in Kathmandu is a pain, its depressing...always a chakajaam, always people taking it to the streets for minute little things. I've been through that myself. And I know how it feels..and all that you want to do is run away. One of the reasons why I came to study in America, is also cause I wanted to escape from the chaotic world.
And after three years of my arrival in America. Working and studying, then graduating and now having a job. Everyday I wake up - with the feeling of going back to the country for good. Everyday my conviction takes a stronger root to return home.

America for me has been an eye-opener. It has empowered me to be who I am and celebrate my originality. During the first year in the US...I was heavily writing in different Nepali forums or blogs. It was a product of homesickness, plus the love for the country. I could detach myself from all that was happening and see things in an overall perspective. And talk about how I felt for everything taking place back home. SO initially I thought- this intense feeling of wishing to go back for good was just a temporary phenomenon. I thought it only had to do with homesickness...and another year came by. I decided to stop arguing with people in forums. Mainly because I was accused of living somewhere else in the comfort of some other govt's facilities and uncontrollably commenting spree. Hence I stopped, I analysed my circumstances. and I realised they were true. It's easy for me to be here in America..and tell people to calm down. Cause trust me, if you are in Nepal. Where nothing around you is moving in the right direction. Its hard for you to take a deep breath, calm down, and feel comfortable amidst the. Hence I stopped voicing my opinion. Then I thought okay...so it would also change my mind regarding going back home anytime soon. But it wasn't to be so. The soil was already so fertile that the plant just had to take a shape.

SO what happened in the facebook?(which ofcourse compelled me to write this- once again after a long time-I see an opinionated-me gradually waking up). well it all started with our VP swearing in Hindi. Controversy had already sparked back home. ANd I for one was sitting quiet. I was thinking more of the 'other' parts of the Nation- nowhere focusing in Kathmandu. Although, neither was I taken by surprise. Not because I necessarily support or don't support what he did. But because I knew the behavior, or the thought process of the majority of the Nepalese spread across the world. Yes, we are all hypocrites. It wasn't a big deal for me at all, but for the rest of the world sadly it was. If some VP to-be had a good intention to lead the country in a prosperous path, but unfortunately if he never grew up lets say in Kathmandu, but lets suppose spent most of his life in France. ANd can't fluently speak in Nepali, so he decides to do it in French. Does it mean he is a sinner. No, but ofcourse...he would have had certainly thought about giving hte oath in Nepali as well. If he really understood Nepal, that how sensitive the situation is in Nepal, and sadly how pathetic the people are. He wouldn't have had taken this step. He had a complete right to do it proudly in whatever language he preferred in a new Democratic Republic State of Nepal. But while doing it, he forgot to do a proper study and failed to predict the repurcussion. SO you see nobody is at fault. Nepal just happens to be a country where majority of people can't think. Regardless of what is right or what is wrong- if 10 people say there is a flie on the wall , even if there isn't. There is INDEED a flie on the wall, even if one person disagrees a 100 times. Sad- the truth in the world is defined by the majority vote. Sad - people of Nepal loves living under the illusion that Nepal is still untouched by the influences of India. Was it even worth it. It was a complete waste of time, it was utterly a useless issue that became successful in diverting the nation's attention. I hope this would be the last time I would be talking about it. oh yeah one more thing- as for our VP being a criminal or corrupt. For God's sake...who on earth isn't corrupt in Nepali politics. So who would you choose anyway..haha...guess he is innnocent until proven guilty. If the Maoist have joined the alliance, the cause of 1000s of people's death in Nepal (also ofcourse the old regime), why not the VP too. Who on earth is corrupt-free in Nepal, whether its Nepal Army ..or the former PM himself... I mean come on!! do you seriously want me to go on?

Therefore, please this is my sincere request. Have your own piece of mind - just because 1000s other think its wrong doesn't necessarily makes it wrong- don't ignore the possibility of certain issue being right. We don't just want Nepal to have the 'new' as its prefix. We want people to generate and have that new, sensible open-mindset starting from themselves. And please remember this precious words by Gautam Budhha:
Peace comes from within
Do not seek it without.
If you know what I mean ;)